J.K. Rowling Tells Fans She Has Lots to Say, but Can’t

On her official website today, www.jkrowling.com, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling briefly relates to fans how it’s going on writing the final Harry Potter chapter:

This always happens. I make a plan, it looks nice and neat, then I get to actually write the book and realise that Harry can’t possibly do all that in just one chapter. So what I thought were going to be two chapters have now become four. I still don’t think the book will be as long as ‘Phoenix’, but if that keeps happening… no, it won’t. I’m looking at the plan, and it can’t. Surely. Please.

Nothing else I can tell you at the moment. Well, there’s LOADS I could tell you at the moment, but I can’t. Sorry.

Also today on the Rubbish Bin section of her website, J.K. took a moment to apologize to fans who feel they missed her appearance at a book festival in Brazil, because, despite reports to the contrary, she was never there:

According to a British newspaper, I recently appeared at a Brazilian literary festival. And was I content to take home a nice bit of pottery or leatherwork as a souvenir? No, not good enough for JK. I decided to buy myself a palatial Brazilian holiday home while I was there.

If any Brazilian Harry Potter fans are reading this and wondering why they never got the chance to buy tickets to hear me read, it’s because I’ve never been to Brazil. And if any Brazilian property dealers are wondering why they didn’t get my business, it’s because I’ve never bought a house in Brazil, either. Not even the sumptuous colonial-style mansion, whose grounds nudge the edge of a forest, described in the article.

My imaginary neighbour was Mick Jagger, too. I’d say you couldn’t make it up… except someone has.